Monday, February 2, 2015

Ignite the soul ...

Here we are darlings. Mid way. Today The Wheel brings us midway between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox.

It is a beautiful, blessed day.

Imbolc means - In the belly -. 

In the belly of the Sacred Mother, the Sacred Goddess, the Womb of Mother Earth, underneath the cover of snow and ice, things are stirring. Seeds that have been dormant all winter, in the dark under the ground and snow, shedding the year, resting and preparing for rebirth, are just beneath the surface ready to burst through in a few weeks time. Imbolc is a time of quickening and new growth though nothing is yet visible. It does not bring with it dramatic change from the death of Winter; trees do not burst into blossom overnight, leaves do not immediately sprout from the branches, plants and flowers do not instantly carpet the earth. This is a very mysterious time. Growth is gradual and seeds lie hidden in the earth, slowly pushing the first shoots up through the soil and yet still, all appears lifeless.

"In nature, we are quietly offered countless models of how to give ourselves over to what appears dark and hopeless, but which ultimately is an awakening beyond our imagining. All around us, everything small and buried surrenders to a process that none of the buried parts can see. We call this process seeding and this innate surrender allows everything edible and fragrant to break ground into a life of light that we call spring.
As a seed buried in earth can’t imagine itself as an orchid or hyacinth, neither can a heart packed with hurt or a mind filmed over with despair imagine itself loved or at peace. The courage of the seed is that, once cracking, it cracks all the way. To move through the dark into blossom is the work of the soul." 

- Mark Nepo

Happy Imbolc my beautiful angels.

Make this and drink it tonight, with someone you love (even if that is you on your own) and thank all that is. Life is magic and we are blessed to be here. Kindle the fire. Ignite the soul. Make it so.

Crystal blessings, Oana

 With Kim at The Algonquin Tea Company ... Her place is magic, and so is she.

Kindle the fire ...

What you need:

  • 1 1/2 cups pastured milk
  • 1 tsp. raw honey
  • 1/2 tsp. vanilla bean seeds or really good extract
  • cinnamon
What to do:

Warm milk but do not boil it. Add your honey and vanilla. Mix together and pour into a beautiful mug and then sprinkle with cinnamon. Now, iiiiifff you wanted to add some cognac, or really good dark rum, I would not object.
Enjoy babies.

Friday, January 30, 2015

Almost there ...

Today we are 3 days away from Imbolc. At the half way point. The halfway between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox. It is really good to be here.

I've been writing all week about what this day means because it is a really important one for me. Winters are hard. The light departs, the dark sets in, the cold bears down ... There are so many markers and meanings lost in modern times which makes it even more difficult. People feel so disconnected from themselves, from each other. Trust in ourselves and one another has been replaced by media fueled fear and paranoia, by constant access to news from all over the world twenty four hours a day. We live our lives publicly, edited and as a projection, in snippets...

Winter is the opposite of life lived in snippets. It asks slowness of us. It forces our fragility and interdependence to the front lines when the power goes out, when we are snowed in, when our cars can't move ... We need each other. The real, fleshy, imperfect version of ourselves. We need meaning and ritual. We must learn to trust again in ourselves and each other

To take chances without a guarantee.

 The heart cries out, the spirit needs.

"Imbolc, like its opposite festival Lammas where the harvest is ready but yet to be secured, is all about expecting and needing the best result. The challenge of Imbolc is to trust that what happens next will be good.The Winter Solstice is a miracle, the departing Sun returns. Imbolc, one station further along the Wheel, asks us to throw our weight behind this increasing light - planting seeds if we are living an agrarian life, committing to a course of action; and expending our energy, willpower, hard work and hope all without a guarantee ... " Rituals of Celebration

Committing to a course of action...

Willpower ...

To trust that what happens next will be good...


How do you feel reading these lines? Read them again. Deeply. Connect to your emotional body for a moment, feel your physical body ... How does it feel? Where does it take you?

If you are up for it, let me know ...

Many blessings dear readers, we are almost there ...


Monday, January 26, 2015

Go back to it ...

I am taking us back today.

Back to a human pace ...

Back to honoring the seasons ...

Back to rituals ...

Back to our vulnerable hearts ...


Back to beautiful language ... 

Back to the eyes ..

Back to fine etiquette and the finer arts of being human ...

Back to lingering conversation ...

Back to softness ...


Back to routine ...

Back to making things ...

Back to awkward pauses ...


Back to when every single thing, including a fork, had deep meaning and was beautifully made with your family initials on it by a fellow human ...

Back to investing in and wearing the same exceptional quality clothes  for years ...

Back to investing in things you pass on ...

Back to unfiltered ...


Back to wholesome, respectful farming ...

Back to our Mother ...

Back to our Waters ...

Back to Men ...

Back to Women ...


Back to trusting one another ...

Back to trusting life ...

Back to the sacred child ...

Back to the sacred that is every moment in life ...


Breathe Love in.
Breathe Humanity in.
Breathe Respect in.
Breathe Vulnerable in.
Breathe Slow in.
Breathe Soft in.
Breathe Sustainability in.
Breathe One Human Family in.
Breathe One Animal Family in.
Breathe One Plant Family in. 
Breathe One.

Take a deep Breath in.

Connect to Source. 

You Are Human.

You Are Sacred.

You are a part of everything that ever was, ever is, ever will be.

You Are.

Every day is Magic. It is in you.

Go back to it.

Breathe Magic in.

Breathe Magic out.

On the outskirts of Malibu ... #nomorefilters

Saturday, January 10, 2015

I will not go ...

The first thing that happened was that the power went out.

There I was, on my beloved yoga mat, which I had run to as soon as bebek fell asleep (instantly dropping laundry behind me like a child leaving crumbs in the woods) sweating through my first Vinyassa since being pregnant and giving birth so, like, over a year and the lights went out. Then came that beautiful, peaceful silence that always accompanies a power outage.

Meh, I thought, it won't be long and I continued my practice knowing how precious these practice times are for me. All was done and well, bebek woke up, we ate, we spit up, we played, we peed, repeat.

It is this repeat part, the last part in particular, that alerted me that a teaching was near. Creator was to remind me of something.

So the next thing that happened was bebek deciding to choose this exact power outage moment to embark on a peeing marathon, going through every single beautiful cotton diaper we own, in about 4 hours.  That is 22 diapers. Read that again. 22.

So I did the modern thing and posted something witty on "the social media site" about my situation and faithfully checked for likes and fanciful comments (which I got from my darling friends). Yes, I do that too. I try to catch myself, but it has become a reflex, I am also addicted, just like you.

It was getting cold. And dark. It had completely escaped me in my one season home that it was getting dark outside and that the temperature was a bone chilling -20 and dropping (they were forecasting -38). Until it got cold ...  that brought me back...

I felt more of my humanity with every drop in degree.

Down to my last diaper, a little chilly and wondering what to do, the computer rings (you all know this as a "phone" but I've decided to call it "the computer" because really, actual phone time is so minimal and the rest is just computer stuff ... but that is for another post) and it is none other than the gorgeous, 9 month pregnant momma darling Stephanie, calling to check on us to see how we were doing and to invite us over, rescuing us from impending frigid darkness. I was so touched by that call. The simple, divine humanity, the reaching out from friend to friend. Her voice. Making sure we were okay, checking on us, opening her home to us when she is just a days away from bringing a new magical consciousness into this world. It was so beautiful. It is the best part of us. I thanked her umpteen times and promised to make my way over if the power did not come on in the next half of an hour.

But it did, and I have to say I felt a flash of loneliness because I was looking forward to being all together.

I could still have gone.

But I didn't. Because we don't. These days.

When the power came back on, I wrapped bebek in a bundle as tightly and warmly as I could and the first thing I did was put on thick, warm, woolly socks. I gathered and lit all the beeswax candles I had made in late Fall. I made a list of all the things we would need to cover our human needs in case it happens again.
I boiled water for some hot and steamy tea. I put on a sweater that Axel gave me this year with a beautiful card in which he asked me to imagine him hugging me warmly every time I put it on. So I did.

How I relished that first sip of sweet, steamy red tea...

And I thought about something. At every moment instead of being upset at how long it was taking (it was about 4 hours in the end), I chose to be in gratitude for those people out there working in -20 degree weather to fix the power lines. I reminded myself that it was a blessing to have people that did these things for us. They are invisible to us and we take them for granted. In these days of entitlement and "convenience" it is so easy (and so damaging to our spirit and humanity) to go the other way. The way of anger, entitlement, blame. I had even started down that path before reminding myself of the truth. That these things are not owed to me and I am so grateful that we have these services...

How beautiful is it to have loved ones around you ...

I don't even know how to end this. How to wrap it all up neatly into a bundle ...

I just know that I am grateful. I am connected. I am focused. I am human. I will stay human within this world that wants to take me away from my humanity day by day with chaos and distraction.

I will not go.


Saturday, January 3, 2015

The We ...

Hi dear readers. Happy New Year to you. I've been waiting to share something with you. I did not really feel ready until today, this moment in fact.  So I am here.

Last year, was a year that expanded my human experience beyond measure. 

I danced with life, I danced in magic.

                                                                                                               Art: Leah Dorion

I was pregnant dear readers. I was two selves and now have a beautiful new baby. 
She came to me from the stars and has the whole universe in her eyes. 
Words cannot express my gratitude.

I became a mother. Saying it sounded strange at first. No more.

I had no idea.

I couldn't have. It is indescribable. The depth. The miracle. The wonder that is life.
The miracle that is this body. Our body. We. The women. The womb. The breasts.  The milk. The body. The cells. The sacred.


We. The women. The connection to the beginning of time. To the Great Mother. To the Women. The walking miracles. The Light. The magic.

The We. 

The Mother.

The stars are in her.

In the ocean that is her womb.

Life giving milk.

The Stars.

The Universe.

The Women.

The We.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Life's small moments ...

Now, you have to bear with me here for a moment ... I am a little rusty ... I wanted to share a simple, beautiful moment with you. It happened the other day and arrived unexpectedly, as life's beautiful moments tend to do.

It was an exquisite winter's day. You know the ones I mean. The air was crisp. The sky a clear, cobalt blue and the sun sparkling his rays of light in all directions. So there I was driving along on my merry way and I turned a corner. In one moment, this dazzling white sunlight was upon my face. Bright as bright can be and my face immediately scrunched up.

At first I resisted the squint.

Yes, you did hear me correctly.

I resisted the squint.

Or, more accurately, I restrained it.
Take a moment to take in that word... Do you feel it in your body? In your heart? Look ... listen ... learn ...

I wasn't even aware of doing it for the first little while but then I noticed. Then I asked myself, Oana, what possible reason could you have to resist a perfectly good squint, caused by perfectly brilliant sunlight?

It was then that I let go.

I let all the years of adulthood, censorship and conditioning go and I freed my face.

That's right babies, I freeeed my face! It sounds silly doesn't it. I know it does, but that's just it.

This was my beautiful moment. In that brilliant sunlight for the first time since I can remember, I scrunched my face as much as it wanted to scrunch (which was a heck of a lot), not worrying how my face looked or if was causing wrinkles or if someone in another car was looking at me or if, or if, or if. I just scrunched for the pure sensation of unrestraint. The life joy of being in the sun and allowing my face to do what it wanted to do naturally without my adult interference.

You know, it made me wonder how many other times I restrain my face. Or anything else. There are so many lessons in so many of life's small moments.

I stayed that way for a while dear ones. I drove in the sunlight and set myself free.

It was magical.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Tippy toeing back in ...

I just wrote something beautiful and then lost it.
It wasn't very long, just a few sentences, but it was beautiful.

It was my way of tippy toeing back in.

And now I can't find the words again.

I will though. Find them, I mean. I can feel them swirling around, peeking through the fog.

It's been a long time since I have been here. 
I wrote something called "The We" but I am not ready to share it in this moment.

I am however, ready to share a crepe recipe.

You know, believe it or not, one of the only times that I make crepes is when my milk has gone sour. People (including myself for a while) tend to throw milk out when it has gone sour but I am telling you, it is the best thing to use for baking or any batter. I have these periods where my body craves milk (natural ewe's, of course) and I buy so much of it (they sell out quickly) that I do not have a chance to go through it before some of it goes sour. Enter: Crepes.

As far as I am concerned, one of the best things to make if your milk has gone sour, is crepes. It gives them a beautiful tang and deep flavour. I use the inimitable Julia Child's recipe and do not look back.

Time to dish.

Julia Child's Master Crepe Recipe

Here is what you need:
  • 1 cup organic flour
  • 1 cup cold (sour - this is mine, not in her master recipe :) ) milk (I use ewe's :))
  • 1 cup cold water
  • 4 large pastured eggs
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 3 tablespoons melted pastured butter, plus more for brushing on pan
Here is what to do:

  1. Mix all ingredients together in a blender or with a whisk, until smooth and creamy and then refrigerate for a minimum of two hours. I let mine go overnight because I am usually making them at night and I'm tired and lazy. And so what. Cheers to that.
  2. When you are ready, heat your frying pan over medium heat and brush with melted butter.
  3. Pour in 2 to 3 tablespoons of batter into the center of the pan and then tilt the pan in all directions to cover the bottom evenly. You just want a circle, a crepe'ish circle. You all know what crepes are supposed to look like right?
  4.  Now, you must be ready for instant failure because the first two or three just don't come out. I don't know why, it is just the law of the universe so don't question it. Just go with the flow and carry on and you will achieve crepe glory I promise you.
  5. Cook each one for about 1 minute and then turn it (I use my heat proof hands to do this) and cook briefly on the other side and when ready turn it onto your plate (I have two or three plates because I'm fancy like that).
  6. Brush pan with butter again and repeat all steps.
Now as for the filling, the world is your oyster babies. Sweet, salty, sour - you do your thing darlings. My thing is usually super simple. I like strawberry or raspberry jam or orange marmalade. That and a strong cup of decaf coffee and color me happy.

That is all.

Good night.