Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Life to life ...

I have been wanting to write for a very long time. Months. 

The words come in every day, dancing, twirling, bringing images to life, adding meaning to experience. There are so many moments of life, ecstasy, grace and beauty in a day, it overwhelms me with gratitude.

And then I don't. I push them down without wanting to, knowing I shouldn't. I don't write ... Is there something to look at there? A stream of light shining through a cavern asking me to follow? Some old, no longer useful force saying I don't deserve these wonderful moments so by not writing about them, I will forget. Some old, familial energetic tie that needs to be broken... 

Yes, the days are enormously busy with a new house and baby but still ...

You make time. No matter what is going on in your life, you make time. You make time for what is important to you. For what blows life into your soul and fills you with magic. You make time to feed your heart. 

What you water with the power of attention, grows. 

But I haven't been when it comes to writing and whenever that happens there is something to see. Some form of very subtle self-deprivation, a slow anorexia of the soul that happens on a low plane that must be seen, acknowledged and opened. 

So here I am. Back at it. Feeding my soul. Sometimes it may take me a while, but I will always come back. I promise you my sweet soul self. 

In this moment, I am sitting in my kitchen experiencing a moment of grace. I am, as we speak, opening an email from one of our family farmers. He is letting us know that the hay is being gathered, the oats are doing tremendously well. That the pigs are rooting in the woods and the cows ans sheep are grazing happily. 

And, that the chickens are finally laying eggs after a long period of not having any. 

This, dear readers, in my experience of this life, is pure joy. This is the greatest connection to life as a human animal in this world. Life to life.

Many blessings to you all my babies. 

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